Lost Before You (Heart's Compass Book 2) Page 10

  She leans back and looks me straight in the eye, as if trying to say something without using words.

  “Alright, let’s go.” I smile, grabbing her by the hand.

  After signaling to Callum I’m heading out for a bit, I follow behind Brea as we walk toward the back of the club and out to the patio. It’s quiet though, and it will give us a little bit of privacy we won’t get inside.

  Opening the door, a wall of humidity hits my face as I take a deep breath, inhaling the warm air. Brea leads me to the corner, away from the groups of people standing outside talking. I don’t go any further without having her in my arms, as I pull her closer, wrapping around her waist tightly. She lets out a small yelp, taking her by surprise.

  With her arms at my neck and mine draped around her waist, we stand like that, just taking each other in. I’m going to miss the feel of her small body pressed against mine, the fruity smell of her shampoo, and her soft skin.

  Running my fingers along her lower back, I run my hand underneath the cotton of her t-shirt. I feel her body tremble beneath my touch. Knowing her body reacts this way to my touch spurs something inside of me.

  I press my mouth against her forehead and inhale the smell of her.

  “Promise me nothing will change between us while you’re gone,” I whisper. “Promise me, even though we’re going to spend the next three months apart, we’ll pick this up when you’re back.”

  “Mason, I don’t expect you to stay single while I’m gone. A lot can happen in three months,” she says. I hear the edge of concern in her voice. What she’s really saying is a lot can change.

  She doesn’t look me in the eye, focusing her attention over my shoulder. Knowing this will be what she remembers when she’s gone, I want to leave her with something memorable. A moment between the two of us to hold onto.

  “Brea, I know this is all so new between us. I need you to know I will always be here as your friend, but hear me when I say there is nothing that will make me change my mind about what I want. There is no one else, no amount of time, or anything you can say, that will make me change how I feel. I’ve known this for a long time and kept it to myself because I wanted to respect what you had with Kaleb. Now that I can show you, I’m not going to fuck it up.”

  “Everything you know about relationships end in heartbreak. I’m not looking or going anywhere, Brea. I promise I’m going to be here when you come back and, baby, when you do, I’m going to continue to show you I will never hurt you.”

  I press my mouth against her lips. The moment they connect, it’s like a spark lights between us. Hearing the small whimper pass her lips, I struggle to fight off a groan of my own.

  God, I’m going to miss this girl.

  July

  Pulling my car into the driveway, I turn the key in the ignition. I lean my head against the headrest and let out a deflated sigh. This wasn’t how I planned to spend my twenty-second birthday on a Friday night. I just got home from work. My boss let me out an hour early, only to come home, take a long bath, and binge watch Netflix all night.

  To be fair, I’m looking forward to eating a bowl of ice cream and watching One Tree Hill again for the millionth time. Although, if I had it my way, I would be hitting the highway straight to Chicago to see Mason.

  Checking my surroundings, a big red pick-up parked next to my mom’s car immediately catches my eye. I’m surprised. For one, that my mom is even home already. Usually, I beat her here. And two, wondering who could possibly be here with her? She never mentioned anyone having to stop by to fix anything. I notice the license plate reads Stark County as I jog my memory wondering who it could be, but I come up empty.

  I grab my purse and lunch pail from the passenger seat before opening the door. It’s been a little over two months since I moved home with my mom, and so far, things have been going better than I expected. When I arrived, I thought I’d find the same woman I saw when I visited during spring break. A woman who was still mourning the loss of the life she once had. Instead, what I came home to was someone else entirely.

  Growing up an only child, I was close with both of my parents but always had a closer relationship with my mom. Their divorce rocked the both of us. Recalling how apprehensive I was about my temporary move, I felt guilty over how much I had dreaded coming home. Looking back on it now, I’m so grateful I went through with it because, in a way, it allowed me to reconnect with the mom I had before our world was turned upside down.

  On the nights I’ve been lonely and missing Mason, she’s been there trying to pull me out of it. She knows all about Mason, having met him when she came to visit in Chicago, but what I haven’t told her is how our relationship has changed. Or at least, how the emotions have grown for me. We have our girls’ nights where we’ll hang out, watch recorded episodes of Dateline while drinking a glass of wine, but whenever Mason calls, she will always flash me her warm smile and waves her hand at me to go talk to him. I’m sure she senses something has changed, but she hasn’t pressured me to open up about it.

  Climbing the steps of the front porch, I turn the door handle, unsure if it’s locked. Finding it unlocked, I push the door open and take a tentative step into the foyer. Slipping my shoes off, I bend over and put them in the mudroom located off to the side.

  I listen for any indication someone could be home but the house is quiet, except for the soft hum of the dryer. Climbing the stairs, I head into the kitchen to unload the contents of my lunch before heading for a hot bath. It’s been a long day and the thought of a bath bomb sounds heavenly.

  As soon as I step into the kitchen, I’m met with a grunting sound followed by a moan behind me causing me to freeze as my mom’s laughter filters through the air. Turning my head, I feel my eyes widen when I find my mom pressed against the counter and a tall man standing in front of her. I am not able to see his face as it’s pressed against the base of her neck. He’s dressed nice in a pair of khaki shorts and a polo shirt. Her head is tilted back, her eyes closed, resting against the kitchen cabinet.

  Another groan filters through the air, and it jolts me into action as I set my lunch bag on the counter, not bothering to make my presence known. I’m too shocked and surprised at what I just witnessed to even consider talking about it at this point.

  I quietly tiptoe my way down the hall, which isn’t easily done with the old wooden floor creaking below each footstep I make. The sound of my mother’s laughter follows me, and the moment I step into my room, I let out a sigh in relief.

  “What in the hell?” I whisper-shout to myself. As shocked as I am and kind of grossed out for seeing my mom with some guy I’ve never met, I also can’t help but wonder if he is the reason she’s been so happy lately.

  I tell myself that if that’s the case, I know she’ll tell me in her own time.

  Tossing my purse onto my bed, I pad along the soft carpet of my bedroom and into the bathroom. Turning on the faucet, I reach my hand under the water to check the temperature. Standing in front of the vanity, I slide open the drawer to grab a bath bomb and quickly unwrap the plastic before dropping it into the tub. I watch the colors turn the water a beautiful array of blues, purples and pinks. Unzipping the front of my pants, I slide them off and toss them into the hamper. Grabbing the hem of my t-shirt, I slip it over my head, adding it to the pile.

  I reach my hands up to tie my hair into a high bun and turn my music app on. Stepping into the bathtub, I ease my body into the warm water.

  This is one amenity that you won’t find living in a small apartment in downtown Chicago without paying a hefty price. This bathtub is one of my favorite things I’ve always loved about living in this house. I remember growing up how it felt like swimming in a pool. It’s big enough for two, maybe three people, to sit in here comfortably.

  Leaning my head against the edge of the tub, I close my eyes feeling the stress of the week and the tension in my body ease away. I
don’t know how long I’m sitting here when the ringing of my phone jolts me awake.

  Raising my hand out of the water, I pat my palm on the towel next to me before picking up the phone, swiping at the screen to connect the FaceTime call with Mason. I ease under the water, holding the phone in front of me when his face appears on my screen.

  “Happy Birthday, beautiful.” He smiles.

  “Thank you,” I hum, smiling at him.

  I can tell Mason’s trying to see where I am, thinking I’m just getting off work. Adjusting the phone in my hand, I can tell the moment he realizes where I am when a huge grin takes over his face. He lets out a deep grunt, muttering to whoever is next to him he’ll be right back and after that he’s on the move.

  “Hold on for a second, Brea,” he says.

  “Are you,” he stops to clear his throat. “are you in the bath?”

  His voice is low as it echoes around the room he’s in. I hear the edge of exasperation in his tone.

  “Yeah, I got off work early. It’s been a long week so I decided to come home and take a bath.”

  The lighting on the screen goes dim, followed by the sound of a door clicking shut.

  “I wasn’t expecting to see you…like that,” he chokes out. “God, I fucking miss you. I need you to know it’s killing me to be away from you, especially today. I wish I could be spending your birthday with you.”

  My heart warms hearing him call me “baby.” Mason has always hated nicknames. He used to grunt and groan when I would call him Mase in front of his friends. While we’ve kept in touch while I’ve been gone, there is a pang of loneliness I feel after not seeing him this long. As much as it helps to be able to see his face when he video calls, nothing would beat the feel of having him next to me.

  “I know you do and I miss you, too. In just a couple of weeks, I’ll be back in Chicago and you will get sick of me soon enough,” I joke.

  I watch as he runs his hand through his hair, holding the camera away from him. My eyebrows furrow as concern sets in. Something seems off, and I don’t know what it is.

  Sitting up in the tub, the water splashes around me but I’m careful not to drop my phone.

  “Mason, talk to me.”

  He doesn’t say anything for a moment before turning the camera back to face him. I see the hurt in his eyes, causing my heart to drop, fearing what he will say next.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I just hate you’re there and I’m here. Being away from you,” he chokes, “it just fucking sucks, Brea. I want to hold you, kiss you, and to properly wish you happy birthday.”

  Leaning forward, I pull my knees up to my chest, holding the phone out in front of me. A piece of hair falls out of my messy bun, draping over the edge of my face.

  “I’ll let you make it up to me when I get home, I promise.” I smile, hoping to ease some of his worry.

  His face lights up, and the grin that I love so much is once again back on his face.

  “Got any big plans to ring in your birthday? The big two-two!” he asks, changing the subject.

  “Oh, yeah, big plans that involve me and this bathtub, then becoming one with the couch while I binge watch Netflix.”

  “Is that right?” he jokes, his lip curving up in a smirk. “You’re a little party animal, babe. I wish I was there to Netflix and chill with you.” He laughs, flashing me his devilish grin.

  There’s the Mason I love. He doesn’t show this side of himself to everyone, the light and carefree side. The side of him that jokes just to put a smile on my face. No, this is the side he reserves for me.

  “Netflix and chill, huh? Is that all I am to you?” I chide.

  “You mean more to me than anything in this world, Brea. Don’t you know that already?” His tone is serious but the smile on his face shows me he means it.

  “While I’m confessing my heart to you, I think I should also say it’s killing me to know you’re sitting there relaxing in the bathtub,” he grunts, “naked…all by yourself.”

  “You know, you could always come up here and visit me if you want.”

  The sound of his pained grunt echoes through the room.

  “I hope you know I would, if I could. Craig is three weeks away from opening Hard Stop. I’ve been spending ten to twelve hours a day here helping get things ready, plus working my shifts at Velvet on the weekend.”

  Craig, the owner of Velvet, has been working to open a new restaurant. The club has been so successful, he felt it was time to venture out into other businesses. Since Mason has been on summer break and needed the extra money, Craig hired him to help between the two businesses. I know Mason mentioned Graham has been helping him more as well, taking on more responsibilities at Velvet. The last time Mason and I talked, he mentioned how Graham was offered a position in management, helping run the security overseeing both businesses.

  “Yeah, I know,” I say, nodding my head. I lean forward to pull the plug on the drain, letting the water out.

  “I should probably get to work. I’m sure Craig is wondering where the hell I’m at,” he says. “I’ll call you when I get home tonight.”

  We both say our goodbyes with the promise of chatting later. I know Mason wishes he could be here. After we disconnect the call, I set the phone on the edge of the tub. Moving to stand, I dry myself off before wrapping myself in a towel. I spend some extra time putting my lotion on before I head into my bedroom in search of something comfy to wear.

  As soon as I enter my bedroom, the scent of flowers that I hadn’t noticed before, fills the air as my eyes fall on the huge bouquet of red roses sitting on my dresser. There are easily two dozen roses and immediately I smile, thinking of Mason. He had already sent me a present earlier this week—a massage at the local beauty salon. I should’ve known he would find another way to make me smile and this is one of them.

  Leaning in close, I inhale, deeply appreciating the smell that permeates the air before picking the card off the plastic holder. Flipping open the envelope, I ease the card out.

  Happy Birthday, sweetheart. I miss you! ~Kaleb

  After the argument at Velvet, I haven’t spoken to Kaleb despite the fact he continues to text message me occasionally. Even then, I hadn’t even bothered to read his messages until one night when I got curious and read through them. I would have thought by now he would take the hint and realize I’m not interested, but he was always persistent.

  I don’t want to hurt him and I understand him wanting to try and make things right between us, but I will never be able to get over what he did to me. There is no moving on from that, regardless of what misplaced feelings he had toward my relationship with Mason. I would’ve thought he knew me well enough to know it, too.

  Sliding the card back into the envelope, I pull out a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt from my dresser before making myself comfortable on my bed.

  Even with the TV turned on and One Tree Hill playing, I can’t stop thinking about how to explain to Kaleb it must stop or how I will break it to Mason. I know after the last time I saw Kaleb, he wouldn’t be happy with me for not mentioning he has been continuing to contact me. With the way things ended with Kaleb, the guilt I felt early on seeps in. Did I really give him reason to question my friendship with Mason when we were together? Whenever we would run into Mason when we were out with friends, I always tried to make Kaleb feel like there was nothing to worry about. Didn’t I?

  Opening the passenger door to Kaleb’s BMW, he jogged around the front to grab the door, holding his hand out to me. His strawberry blond hair was longer on the top. It looked a little wild, swept to the side in a boyish sort of way.

  Placing my hand in his, I grinned up at him as I stepped out of the car. “You look gorgeous tonight, sweetheart,” he said, grinning down at me.

  Taking hold of his forearm, we walked toward the Sports Bar. Kaleb was a big fan of
the Chicago Blackhawks. They had made it to the playoffs, so there we were, ready to cheer them on.

  Inside we were greeted by a swarm of black and red as fans prepared to cheer on the Hawks. Kaleb kept a hold of my hand as we made our way through the crowd of people toward the table his friends often commandeered. Kaleb turned to me, nodding, indicating he was going to get a drink from the bar. I responded with a nod before he flashed me a smile, leaving me to grab our drinks. I continued to weave my way through the packed tables. People were standing around talking, so I was careful not to bump into anyone with a drink in their hand.

  A strong arm snagged my waist, pulling me in. Any tension I felt in my body when I was taken by surprise was gone when I heard the soothing sound of Mason’s voice in my ear.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” Mason laughed, as he spun me in his arms.

  Smacking him on the chest playfully, I shouted, “What do you think you’re doing?” Raising my eyebrow at him in question, I perched my hand on my waist, heavy on the sass.

  He shook his head at me, “What does it look like?” I saw the sparkle in his eye.

  How could I be mean to him now? “Oh, alright, I guess,” I say, as he let out a loud laugh, embracing me in a hug.

  Peering up at him, I said, “You really did have me freaked out for a second before I realized it was you, creep,” I joked, pushing against his chest once again. I took a step back, only to bump into someone behind me.

  Spinning around to apologize, I peered up to find Kaleb. The look on his face was stone cold and his expression was unreadable.

  “Hey, sorry,” I muttered loud enough for him to hear as I leaned in, cuddling closer to him. “I was just saying hi to Mason.”

  “Of course, you were,” Kaleb said flatly. “Where Mason goes, you always follow.”

  Turning to face Mason, I hoped to convey how sorry I was for Kaleb’s comment only to find a small grin lining his mouth.